6 steps to deal with your child’s desire to give up his goal

Your child may beg you to sign him up for exercise or social activities, and then refuse to attend, after you’ve paid for the subscription and arranged work hours to fit the exercise schedule.

You may get frustrated, especially if the situation is repeated, and you think that if you allow him to withdraw from the activity, you will raise a weak child, but does your child tend to give up, or is he still looking for his passion?

Should I be concerned?

The first 12 years of a child’s life are called years.take samples“He tries different sports and activities, and may prefer one activity over another, or not one. If you’re concerned about your child’s frustration and despair, look for the following signs:

  • Refuses to try new activities.
  • Says frustrating sentences, such as “I’m a failure, I can’t.”
  • His academic achievement declines.
  • He suffers from excessive shyness.
  • He does not trust himself.

These signs indicate an underlying disorder in learning or mood, and a psychiatrist should be consulted, to rule out depressive disorder or social anxiety.

accept his wish

Some mothers describe their children as weak and defeatist, hoping to deter them from their decisions, while giving up difficult goals requires courage, which adults do not have, and setting alternative goals is associated with flexibility and greater ability to deal with life pressures.

Two Canadian researchers, in a review, predict methodology It was presented in 2011, with high levels of psychological comfort among those who withdrew from unachievable goals, and then engaged in new goals. On the other hand, sticking to difficult goals left only negative thoughts About self, depressive symptoms.

Your child may need encouragement to face his momentary sense of failure (Shutterstock)

Find the reason

If your child surprises you by not wanting to go to exercise, don’t go with the easiest solution and say “You’re going” or “Okay, don’t go, and don’t ask me to sign up again.”

Find the root cause instead of denial or ignoring, and ask your child questions Following in order “Why would you like to stop exercising?” Then “Do you think you’ll regret your decision later?” Then “What drew you to that activity in the beginning?” Then “Did the activity meet your expectations?” Then “Do you think you put in enough effort to try?” If not, ask him what’s holding him back from trying.

Praise the effort, not the results

It will help you to teach your child to distinguish between long-term desires And the feelings of the momentLike the difference between “I don’t want to play football because I don’t like it” and “I hate playing football because I lost the last game”.

Your child may need encouragement to face his momentary sense of failure, and here a distinction should be made between Praise and encouragementPraise targets the result, which is not achieved much despite the effort, but encouragement focuses on effort and not results, and is related to your child’s experience and unique abilities, such as saying “You made a great effort to draw that painting, I see that the gradation of colors and the diversity of your use of them” or “I sensed your persistence.” on drawing that painting, and the pleasures I sacrificed to perfect it.”

Involve him in the solution

It doesn’t matter how many goals you set for your child, if he doesn’t have the motivation to achieve them, so, you start steps Setting goals by letting your child set his goals, then asking him why he chose those goals, their purpose, and helping him develop his own motivation, to write down his goals, and attach them to a clear place in the living room.

Teach him how to evaluate goals. A clear and measurable goal is easier than a vague goal like “I will learn swimming principles this month” rather than “I will work hard and do sports.” Also, it is preferable to divide the goal into small tasks, your child does not know how to reach the finals of the Club Cup, but he can commit When to exercise.

Teach your child how to evaluate goals. A clear and measurable goal is easier (Shutterstock)

Set alternate goals

You can get frustrated if your child fails to set his goals, he may only know the football he hated, and be unaware of the alternatives.

Your child won’t know what he likes without trying different things, so don’t stick with a suggestion because it’s best in your opinion, but make a list of physical, educational or social activities and show it to him.

Together, find the activities he likes on the Internet, watch videos of how to play them, and find the closest places to offer.

That plan may also fail, but it’s time to present the experiment as an opportunity for discovery. If your child doesn’t choose an activity from the list, tell him you’ll choose instead, and if he doesn’t like your choice, he won’t have to continue with it, and you’ll choose another activity.

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